


Untold truth

by TSihek



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-10
Updated: 2014-01-10
Packaged: 2018-01-08 06:01:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1129172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TSihek/pseuds/TSihek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the "Enterprise Incident" there are some thruths which haven't been told yet. Written for this challenge: Write an S/Mc centering arount an invasion of privacy.</p><p>First published in 2007.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untold truth

Untold truths 

 

McCoy had been sure he would be alone here, at the late hour. As sure as he'd been, 'the Vulcan was always good for a surprise,' he thought, as he'd entered the empty swimming pool and stared stunned at the half naked man.

Spock swam to the border and steadied himself with one hand, his legs still moving in the water. "What are you doing in here, Doctor McCoy?"

"Well," McCoy dropped his towel on one of the wooden benches which were arranged in one corner of the room, right next to the swimming pool. Viewed with the palm trees and other tropical plants, it was a nice place for relaxation after swimming. "What does it look like?"

McCoy looked down at himself. Clad only in a pair of standard, black swim trunks, he was as almost naked as Spock. He went to the stairs and lowered himself in the cool water. "I didn't know you can swim."

"I had to learn at the academy, and you yourself gave me the advice to use a less difficult workout during the next three point two weeks. I must take care of the wounded muscles of my back."

"I know, I know. What I meant was that you shouldn't train as hard as you usually do." Through his lashes McCoy watched the lean man sit up on the border. The long legs still dangling in the water.

"Aren't you getting cold?" he asked curious.

"No. I'm controlling my body temperature so the low water temperature has no effect on me."

"Tell that to your grandmother," McCoy murmured and dove into the water. He swam several rounds until he came to a rest beside the still sitting Vulcan. "I guess you should go on with your training. The air is almost too humid for you and I'm not looking forward to having another sick Vulcan to cure."

"It's not my intention to become ill, Doctor McCoy. I'm merely resting here for a while, because I already swam thirty rounds."

McCoy sighed. He had imagined something like that. "I told you that you shouldn't overdue your daily workout. Now kindly explain to me just what you call a thirty-round-training in your current state of health? There's no logic in that, Spock!"

To his surprise, Spock didn't catch the hint to start another quarrel. Instead he just looked at his hands clasped over his groin. McCoy noted goose-bumps spreading all over the lightly greenish skin.

"Get out of the water and dry yourself. You're getting cold, and I'd like to check your physical status."

Spock surprised the CMO again, when he obeyed the order without further ado. He toweled himself dry, slid into his bathrobe, and sat down on one of the benches in the relaxation area. There, he waited patiently for the Human.

McCoy returned to the stairs and copied his actions. Then he sat down beside the Vulcan. "Okay. Tell me, what's wrong?"

Surprise clearly written in his face, Spock looked up. Then his gaze dropped back to his clasped hands. "What do you mean?"

McCoy sighed. "Spock. You can't tell me you came in here for swimming just because I've told you, you should practice less arduously exercises. And you seem to refuse to leave here. Even after I entered the room. I know how much you appreciate your privacy. You wore almost nothing and don't tell me your not even the least bit embarrassed by that fact. I KNEW how much you dislike to be seen almost naked. So I guess there is another reason for you being here. Now, would you like to tell me?"

For endless minutes, there was only silence. Spock continued to stare at his clasped hands. Eventually McCoy sighed softly. He knew he was right. But he also knew there was no way to make the Vulcan talk if he doesn't want to. He was about to rise, when Spock took a deep breath.

"You're right."

McCoy made himself comfortable again. "Tell me more."

"I can't sleep. I had hoped swimming would help to make me tired enough."

"None of your usual mental tricks is working on that, I guess?"

Spock nodded once. "Unfortunately not. Whenever I fall asleep the dreams starts and I know no way to avoid them."

McCoy leaned back. //Dreams...no wonder he's confused. Usually Vulcans don't dream. Spock sometimes does. I've seen it on the monitors when he was asleep in sickbay,// hey thought. "The dreams are about the recent incident I guess?"

Again just a nod. Spock kept silent, his eyes were now closed, and he had started shivering. McCoy knew almost no one would have seen the lines of tension and fear in the elegant features.  
The last mission... They were already on their way to Rigel, where the crew would have some well-deserved shore leave. Almost everyone was looking forward to it. McCoy knew one reason for the smiling faces was the horror they had been through a few days ago.

Patrolling the border to the Romulan sector was one thing. But a captain who seemed to be worn out by stress and was acting silly was another thing entirely. The events rushed by and almost no one knew what was happening until it was over. After Kirk and Spock returned from the Romulan Bird of Prey with a female commander in tow, the talking and chatting in the ship had increased. A few crew members had seen Kirk's costume and they had been informed about the truth in order to prevent further rumors. This part of the plan had worked.

But McCoy knew there must have been more although, neither Kirk nor Spock had said anything. Not to him, nor to someone else. And this must be the reason for the confusing dreams Spock were experiencing.

Slowly Spock got up and took a few steps. Then he returned and again sat down. He seemed restless, disturbed and ... yes...frightened when his eyes again met the concerned look of the doctor. "I think I will never be embarrassed when I have to undress in front of others."

Again there was silence, but McCoy knew Spock now will tell what was haunting him. He knew him well enough to be sure about that. McCoy watched silently when two elegant fingers started to trail along the wood lines in the bench.

The Vulcan's voice was barely audible, when he again started to speak. "She touched my face...my fingers...and I... I had to play my role...had to allow something I had never granted someone else. She touched my mind, my thoughts, my soul... I..." His voice faded out and his fist again clumped in his lap.

"A meld? I thought this is something very private and is only allowed between relatives, dear friends, and couples. And perhaps healers in order to cure a disease."

"You're right. A meld for a Vulcan is much more private and intimate than intercourse is for a Human." A faint tremor was in the low voice.

McCoy gulped and nodded silently. //God... I'd never guessed something like that! I know the mind meld is seen as a very private and seldom used way to communicate. It seems as if Spock...all the forced melds he had to initiate in the line of duty...has it always been the same for him? He's reacting as if he's been raped. And in some way...maybe that's what has happened. Does Jim know what he's asking of him when he orders Spock to use his telepathy? I've got to tell him as soon as possible. He can't force that on Spock.//

"She...raped you?" McCoy didn't want to ask but as the CMO, a psychologist, and Spock's friend he had no choice.

The dark eyes were shut, the face hidden behind a wall of discipline and control. "Not in a physical way. But mentally...yes. On Vulcan her sudden mental approach would have been called rape."  
Suddenly the tension in the sinewy shoulders vanished and the tall figure bent over. Spock buried his face in the hands resting on his knees.

"At night, in the dark... I feel her mind...feel her touch...her thoughts... I had to make sure she didn't learn about The Captain's secret plan. There was no time to shield myself from her. And when she questioned me in the transporter room... Still there was a trace of her mind with me and she...she laughed at me...laughed about..."

McCoy stared at the almost sobbing man beside him in disbelief. //This cannot be real. Spock never would cry. Never would tell ME what... But why IS he telling me what happened? I asked him, well...but...//

Uneasy about how he should react, McCoy did, what his instinct told him. He also bent down and cradled the shivering Vulcan in a light embrace.

To his surprise Spock didn't flinch or tense. He just allowed the touch. After a few moments the sobbing faded and Spock rose to his feet. Again he was hiding himself behind the Vulcan wall.

McCoy also stood, when the Vulcan turned round and headed for the exit. The Human's hand on his shoulder stopped him. McCoy could feel the tension there. "Don't Spock. Don't run away again."

The expression on Spock's face was like nothing McCoy had ever seen before. Full of fear, sorrow, loneliness and desperation the Vulcan looked at him for what seemed to be an eternity. Then slowly he shook his head. "I have no other choice than to run away and hide, Leonard. Although I wish I could do something else entirely, I have no other choice."

The hand on Spock's shoulder slid down until it reached the upper arm. McCoy also grabbed the other arm. His gaze fixed Spock's. "What is it you're running from, Spock? It's not the mental rape. It's something deeper, something you'll admit openly. The Romulan commander saw it in your mind, didn't she? She knows what you long for and what you think you never will have. Am I right?"

Spock's control splintered to fragments. He just nodded. Biting his lower lip he didn't trusted his voice right now.

"What is it? I can't help you, if you keep buried what is eating you from inside. I'm your friend...please... I want to help you," McCoy pleaded, never loosening his grip on the Vulcan's arms. "It hurts she laughed about it, isn't it?"

"Yes." Again only whispered, the single word nevertheless contained the pain and desperation Spock felt.

//It's incredible! I've always teased him to have no emotions. And right now this man is standing in front of me, broken and desperate because a foreign woman had laughed about what he wished for. I wish he could accept what I feel for him. Could accept my love and longing for him I want him to offer.//

Slowly Spock looked up. His hands came up and took McCoy's hands in his own. "You...?"

It took McCoy a moment to realize what had happened. What it was that has produced this sudden change in Spock's behavior. A slowly caress on his palms gave him the right hint. //Damn it! Spock is a touch telepath and I've touched him! He must have seen my... //

"Yes." Spock stopped his tender caresses of McCoy's hands. "I've seen what was in your thoughts."

"You aren't ashamed, or annoyed?"

"No. Because it's what I long for." Shyly Spock bent forward and touched the Human's forehead with his lips. "It's what she had been laughing about, because she couldn't understand how I could be in love with a Human male."

A wide grin started to form on McCoy's face. "Then let her laugh and kiss me."


End file.
